(Find previous chapters and a description of the project here.)

It is Saturday. She stands in the living room, staring out the window at the trellis sitting in the yard. Jesse and Mark—another minister, one of Jesse’s friends from seminary—are standing next to it talking. They both have their arms crossed. They are both wearing suits. Now they are both laughing. The dog, Zeus, zooms around the trellis, then races along the fence. Rebecca pulls her gaze away.

               Her eyes go to the clock. It is 3:27. She told her mom and Cindy to be here at 3:30. Amazingly, David is flying in from Vermont, and Jesse asked him to arrive at 3:30 too. She told Kristen, Jessica, Aunt Rachel and Martha to come at 4. Jesse’s parents are not coming. It was too short of a notice. In the kitchen, Anna and her sister Liz are busy prepping food. Liz’s boyfriend has made 10 pounds of pulled pork for the occasion. Anna is arranging pickles, onions and various sauces on a serving board. Liz is slicing home made buns. There are bowls of potato salad, baked beans, macaroni and slaw. On the buffet sits the cake. It is a small two-tiered chocolate cake. It is iced with chocolate frosting and decorated with sharply piped white lines.

               The door opens and in walks Cindy. Her mom is right behind her. “Woah, Bec, why the fancy outfit?” Cindy asks. “I thought we were just coming over for a barbecue.”

               Rebecca is wearing a blue floral print sundress. It is too tight across the bodice and it clings to her middle. “Oh, um…” she falters before finding her determination. “This is actually not just a barbecue. It’s my wedding.”

               Cindy mouth drops and her mother frowns as if she’s misheard. “What did you say, dear?” she asks.

               “You’re getting married?!” Cindy shrieks. “TO WHO?”

               Before she can answer, Jesse and Mark come in the backdoor. They are still laughing. “To Jesse,” she says calmly.

               Cindy is nodding her head knowingly, wearing a smug grin. “I knew it,” she says. “The way you two were on Sunday. I just knew there was something going on.”

               Her mother comes forward. “Rebecca, honey, are you sure? It’s not like you to be this impulsive.”

               “Mom, we’ve been dating for over a year,” she explains. “And…we’re going to have a baby.”

               Her mother’s face falls. “Oh.” That one word holds a multitude of disappointment. “Oh, Rebecca.”

               “What the hell Rebecca?!” Cindy exclaims.

               Jesse has moved to her side. His hand is on her back. “Cindy, please,” she starts. “This is…this is just how it is, okay?”

               “Okay,” Cindy concedes, throwing up her hands. “Okay, Bec. Alright. So…wedding, and then barbecue. Okay.”

               Her mother is frowning at her, and she moves her disapproving stare to Jesse. She doesn’t say anything. She walks past them and takes a seat on the couch. Cindy and Rebecca stare at one another. Cindy shrugs. Rebecca jerks her head in the direction of their mom. They do not speak, but Rebecca can tell that Cindy knows she wants her to smooth things over, and she knows that Cindy does not want to. Finally, her sister huffs, and, almost stomping, moves towards the couch.

               She turns to Jesse. “Okay, now we just have to do that a few more times,” she jokes. It’s not funny though.

               She hears someone shutting a car door. She moves to the door, peering through the glass. A man is coming up the driveway. “Jesse,” she calls. He moves forward. “I think David is here.”

               Jesse opens the door and walks down the steps of the porch to meet his friend. Rebecca watches them embrace. In the living room, she hears Mark making small talk with her mom and Cindy. Jesse and David are standing next to the porch, chatting. They turn to her, and Jesse extends his arm invitationally to his friend. She is about to open the storm door when she hears Brett calling her.

               She turns. He is standing in the foyer wearing a pair of khakis. The jacket he has found is too small for him. The arms barely reach his wrists. He has one of Alan’s ties in his hand. “Do you know how to tie one of these?”

               The door opens. Jesse and David come up behind her. “Jesse,” she says, touching his arm. “Can you help Brett?”

               He smiles at her son. “Let me show you how it’s done,” he offers. “Let’s do it in front of a mirror. It’ll be easier to see what’s happening.” They move towards the hallway. Rebecca is smiling. Jesse has always been good to her boys. She hopes they will be good to him.

               “Hi,” the man next to her says. “I’m David.” He is offering his hand to her.

               “Rebecca,” she says, shaking his hand. “Thanks for coming at such a short notice. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.”

               “Oh! It was no trouble. Although, I was very surprised when Jesse told me the occasion.”

               She feels her face coloring. “Yes, we were…very private about everything.” She averts her eyes, but she can still feel his gaze on her. She wonders what Jesse has told him.

               There is a knock at the door, and again she is turning around. This time she sees Aunt Rachel standing on the step. She beckons, and Aunt Rachel opens the door. She watches as Jessica and Kristen come up the sidewalk, ascend the 3 stairs to the porch. Behind them are the kids—Jessica’s Michael and Raegan, Kristen’s Luke. James and Billy, their husbands, bring up the rear of the group.

               She retreats. She can’t face them all at once alone. She needs Jesse. She moves into the living room as the group chatters in the foyer. Cindy and her mom are sitting in silence on the couch. Her mother looks like she is ill. Cindy has her hands tightly clasped. Her lips are even more tightly pressed together. Rebecca feels a flutter in her stomach at the sight of them. She is not sure what Cindy’s expression means, but there can be no mistaking her mother’s anger.

               The rest of her family piles into the living room. Finn, Brett and Jesse bring up the rear of the group. Jesse must have helped Finn with his tie too. He is not wearing a jacket, but it doesn’t matter. Her whole family is dressed for a barbecue. They’ve come in shorts and tank tops and sandals. She steps into the dining room and glances into the kitchen. Anna and Liz look like they are wrapping up their preparations. Once Martha arrives, she’ll move everyone outside and they can begin.

               Jesse comes to her side. “How are you doing with all this?”

               “I’m terrified,” she admits. “Mom looks so mad, and Cindy…”

               Jesse rubs her arm. “I know,” he says.

               “I wish your family was here too,” she says as she peers back into the living room.

               “Dad was sorry to miss this,” he answers softly.

               “Did you tell him?” Jesse nods. “What did he say?”

               “He thought it was great,” Jesse says, smiling. But there is something else behind that smile, something that shouldn’t be there. She can’t determine what it is.

               The storm door creaks open again and she goes still. “Martha’s here,” she whispers. Martha is the least likely of the bunch to be understanding, merciful, forgiving. She is much more likely to take this information straight to the church’s leadership. She is tense with panic. “I shouldn’t have invited her.”

               Jesse’s arms come around her. “They’re going to find out anyway, babe,” he reminds her. She is not comforted by his words.

               He pulls away from her, then looks into her eyes. “I love you, Rebecca,” he says. “I’ve loved you for a long time.” She frowns at this, confused. This is new information. “I let myself get entangled with you, even though I knew I shouldn’t have. That’s what I meant in the office. This whole thing is my fault, because I was weak. I gave you what I thought you wanted after Alan died, but really, I was just giving myself what I always wanted. And maybe for a while, there might have been a way to stop this, if I hadn’t agreed to keep coming to your house on Tuesdays, but now…” he glances down. “I can’t undo any of this. I’ve let my sin overcome me.”

               She is stunned to speechlessness. She wants to cry, but the tears won’t come. She feels hollow at his words. “I was using you,” she admits. His expression is pained. “In the beginning, I mean. I’m sorry.” He nods, as if he has expected this. “But now, I don’t want to be without you,” she adds. Her eyes slide to the living room. “I can’t face any of this without you.”

               He hugs her again, pressing his face into her hair. “You won’t have to do this without me.”

               She leans into him, allows herself to forget that she has a living room full of people who have no idea why they are here. Just for a moment. She closes her eyes, savoring these last moments without questions and prying and shaming. Her arms snake around his back, and she squeeze him around the waist. When she pulls away from him, his eyes are wet. She touches his face. “Okay, let’s do this,” she says to him. He nods, and clasping his hand, she leads him back into the living room.

               Just as they enter, her mother, wearing a sour expression, questions the room. “Did anyone know Rebecca and Jesse were getting married today?”

               Her question cuts off all the noise, sucks out all the air. Suddenly the room is still and silent. She feels like she has entered a tomb. All the eyes turn to her. There is a mix of shock, denial and confusion on each face. Rebecca squeezes Jesse’s hand hard. He grips her just as tightly in response.

               “What do you mean they’re getting married?” Martha asks. She stands closest to the foyer. The disdain she wears makes the blood drain from Rebecca’s head.

               “That’s what she said!” her mother exclaims. “Didn’t she tell you when you first got here?”

               “Mom please,” she starts, but Cindy is talking over her, saying the same thing. Aunt Rachel looks at Jessica and Kristen, but they just shrug. In the back, Billy, James and David look stoic and unflustered. Martha crosses her arms over her chest. Mark stands there, holding his Bible and smiling stupidly as if nothing is wrong.

               “They’re probably only getting married because she’s got a baby on the way,” her mother says grumpily.

               “Mom!” Cindy and Rebecca exclaim simultaneously.

               Now the room is in full chaos. Everyone is talking at once but no one is listening to anything. Rebecca looks around the room for help, but everyone is averting their eyes, except David, but he is looking at Jesse. Her eyes land on Martha. She is furious. She is scandalized. She is going to be a problem for them. She is texting someone as Rebecca watches her. Her eyes flash upwards, meeting hers. She is ice.

               Rebecca looks at Jesse, then to Mark. Mark is moving towards them. He lowers his head and speaks softly. “So, this is a bit of a surprise,” he says.

               “Yeah, sorry I didn’t prepare you,” Jesse apologizes.

               Mark clears his throat and announces to the room. “Hold on! Hold on! Everyone just calm down.”

               Anna has come from the kitchen. She is touching Rebecca’s shoulders, holding her in solidarity. She tilts her head, until it is leaning against Anna’s. Anna pats her shoulder and gives her a squeeze.

               Mark has command of the room now. “Jesse asked me to perform a wedding today, and that’s what I intend to do. We have a lovely spot set up in the yard for it, so if anyone would like to join us now, we can begin.”

               She only met Mark yesterday and hardly knows anything about him, but she will love him for the rest of her life because of his intervention.

               Mark exits the house through the back door. Anna follows him quickly. David moves around the people standing against the living room wall, following Anna out the back door. She glances around the room, waiting to see who else will come. Kristen is next, followed by Cindy. Then Aunt Rachel and Jessica. The kids are nowhere to be seen, but she can hear them talking from another part of the house. Billy ducks his head into the hallway and calls, “Come on! They’re doing the wedding now.”

               There is a rumble like a heard on the move as the kids come running up the hall. “What wedding?” Reagan asks as she rounds the corner.

               “Just go outside,” Billy says.

               She watches each of the kids pass. Michael, Luke and Finn come first. Reagan hangs back, before following her dad and James. Brett brings up the rear of the group. He smiles at her. “You look really nice, Mom,” he says to her before he goes out the door after his cousins and uncles.

               Brett is more like Alan everyday and her heart aches over this thought.

               She looks to the couch, where her mom is still sitting tight-jawed. “Are you coming, Mom?” she asks.

               Her mom sighs heavily, then rises from the couch. “I suppose I shouldn’t say no. Seems silly not to go. I’m already here.” She moved forward. “I just wish you’d told me,” she says as she nears.

               “I… couldn’t,” she breathes.

               Her mom shrugs, then goes outside.

               And now the only person left in the living room besides her and Jesse is Martha. She is leaning against the door frame, with her arms crossed, scowling. Rebecca raises an eyebrow.

               “Martha?” Jesse asks. His tone is inviting, but it has no effect.

               “This is disgraceful,” she answers.

               Rebecca nods. “Okay,” she says. “That’s fair.”

               They stare at one another. Martha doesn’t reply. She turns around and walks into the foyer. The storm door opens a moment later. She imagines Martha being angry that she can’t slam it closed.