Is it supposed to hurt like this?

You were a friend, not a lover

You were not my blood and bone

Yet, I trusted you with everything

And gave myself to you

Whenever you required it

Because that’s how much I loved you.

Is it supposed to hurt like this?

We lived in separate spaces

We moved in different circles

Yet, we overlapped in

All the ways that matter

Creating a sanctuary where I never

Felt the need to hide

Because that’s how much I trusted you.

Is it supposed to hurt like this?

You could see me to my core

And I bravely bared my scars to you

Knowing that I would always find a place

For my troubles when I sat down next to you

Because that’s how well I knew you.

Is it supposed to hurt like this?

I am desperate to return to myself

To unload the self-criticism and the regret

The inability to move past your absence

And to silence the voices that say

How wrong I was to grow so close with you.

Is it supposed to hurt like this?