I will remember you with love

I will refrain from guessing your intent

I will hold onto how you brought me joy

And how you inspired me to dig deep

To trim off the rotting roots.

I will remember how you asked me

Simple questions that contain enormous answers.

I will discontinue ending the sentences you said

And no longer hear “I can’t” as the kinder version of “I don’t want to.”

I will think of you in summer and smile at the memory

Of sitting on the patio, waiting for exciting news

And eating dinner fresh from the grill.

You were a gift to me in a time when I was adrift

A life raft that kept me from sinking further

Into that empty nothingness that seeks to claim us.

You saw me for who I am

And you did not run away from it.

You embraced me fully, as if there wasn’t a thing wrong with me

That kind of love is precious, and it was precious to me,

Finer than gold, rarer than emerald, sparkling like the stars overhead.

I miss you.

If there is a reunion somewhere in our future, then I anticipate the day

With gratitude for having known you

But holding the pain of loss that feels like it will never truly heal.

Your absence is still with me

Because that’s how much space you took up in my life.

Wherever you are now, if you can think of me

I hope it is with fondness and tenderness.

Maybe the sadness I feel without you will pass from me soon.

Until then, I will hold the memory of your laugh

And your smile and your love

Keeping the time we spent together safely guarded,

Alive and full and wonderful.