What We Don’t Say

Photo by Sunguk Kim

There are things we don’t say as part of our social contract

“It hurts me when you don’t return my messages”

“I don’t like how that made me feel”

“I feel like you don’t respect me very much”

Because not saying these things keeps the peace

And allows everything to go on without having to pause

To address the conflict that would never surface

If we simply ignore.

We also ignore other important things that should be said

“You’re an important part of my life”

“I don’t know what I would do without you”

“I love you”

Because if we make ourselves vulnerable in this way

The person to which we say it might not feel the same

And it would disturb the peace between us

That would never be unsettled

If we simply keep silent.

Yet there is danger in not speaking what is on our hearts

Because if we can’t say what we should say about ourselves

How will we ever expect to find our voice

When we need to say something on behalf someone else?

“You can’t do that.”

“That is not right.”

“Please leave.”

These things too disturb the peace.

But it’s a false peace that says what you feel does not matter

So it shouldn’t be said.

Don’t listen to the voice telling you to stay quiet.

Say the things that we don’t say.


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