A year without you but I’m better

Than when we walked the hall

Holding hands as I prayed to find

Space for my whole self beside you.

I found a different door to enter

Which lead me where I didn’t wonder

Where I would sit, or if there would be a chair

No, these new friends scooted together

To make a place for me on the bench.

A year without you but I’m better

I no longer wonder why you didn’t love me

The way that I loved you.

I’ve poured out any remaining love I had

Across gravestones as bleached as bones

Finally recognizing it as a waste of my imagination

To invent new ways for you to see me.

A year without you and I’m better

I don’t miss my own timidity and hesitance

The feeling that I should not bother you, or take your time

Avoiding rejection by shrinking my heart

In the face of your silence, which hurt worse than your no.

That is not love

That is power.

Now I see it.

A year without you and I’m better

It showed me just how easy I am to love.